Deeper Than Before

I have been going to a new place in the Lord which seems deeper than the place I was in the last season. I realise that many of my behaviors were shallow. The things that I thought were important were just me being self absorbed.

I was listening to a song by a popular Christian band today and they were singing about only wanting Jesus to be remembered. They were stating that they didn’t want to be remembered but only wanted Jesus to be remembered. I think this is a very admirable thought, but the truth is most of us want to be loved and remembered.

The battles that we face in our inner man often revolve around not wanting to be forgotten. When we were children, and someone told us that we were their favorite person in all the world, we felt like a million dollars. When others treated us like we were yesterday’s leftovers it brought sorrow and heaviness into our hearts.

I don’t believe that anyone of us was meant to be forgotten. God created us as eternal beings that He wanted to love and cherish forever. We were not only meant to be remembered by Him, but we were meant to be cherished and loved by one another, to be remembered by one another.

My grandparents on both sides of my family were good Christian people. I have very good memories of them. They will be cherished in my heart for all of time. I also remember the lives of people who inspired me in my walk and faith. I am sure if they knew that I remembered them they would be happy and I want them to be happy.

While it seems admirable to say that I only want Jesus to be remembered the truth is I don’t want to be forgotten either. To be forgotten would be very sad. I am not saying that I want to be famous in a million people’s eyes. If that should happen then I ask the Lord for the grace to live such a life. But I want to be remembered nonetheless. I want family to remember me and I want my friends to remember me, not just for a moment, but for eternity. I even want to be remembered as a man after God’s own heart. I believe to be remembered in such a way doesn’t just bring glory to me but glory to the God that I serve.

1 Chronicles 14:17 says, “Then the fame of David went out into all the lands; and the LORD brought the fear of him on all the nations.” I believe the reason that God made David known is because David made God known. When a person establishes God as the cornerstone of his or hers existence in isn’t the end of their identity. It is the beginning of an eternal identity in Christ. The person is remembered as an expression of Christ in the earth.

We need the Lord’s character more and more in our hearts. Last night I had a dream and a prophet that I know was praying very loudly in my house. The prophet in question is a man who is becoming well known because of his accuracy prophesying. Wherever he goes the spirit of God moves powerfully and thousands have been touched by God through his life. God is making this man’s name known in the earth.

I must be honest I often wonder why one person gets promoted and not another. Namely sometimes I wonder “WHY THEM AND NOT ME?” Have you ever been there? This is jealousy and stems from the world’s system. To live in such a way is to be spiritually impoverished. I am guilty of it and often I don’t recognize that God is good and has destiny for all of His children.

In the dream that I had of this prophet I heard him praying in his secret place. He cried out to God for revelation to make the name of God known. It was obvious from my dream that this man’s prayer life was intense. He was very intimate with the father and as a result the Lord was speaking to Him. As I considered this man’s prayer life I realised that my prayer life is not as intense. I might not be as hungry which for me is hard to admit.

In another part of the dream I saw this man come up from the basement with his wife and a friend. I told them that I had prepared breakfast for them, but he wasn’t interested in eating. I was sad because I desired to have communion with him.

I then saw a reflection of myself and I began to speak to Him. The reflection said I was watching TV with this prophet and while the news was on he kept saying, “The Lord showed me that, the Lord showed me that.” From the way that my reflection was speaking it was obvious that this man’s revelation made my reflection jealous. A more mature part of myself playfully slapped the reflection on the head and said, “This is good for you, it will help you to overcome your pride.” We both laughed together.

To be remembered there is a need to die to ourselves. We must make the name of Jesus great. In making Him great we are remembered. Not because of anything in ourselves but because of the reflection of Christ in our hearts. It’s Christ inside of us living His life through us that brings us the peace and joy that we crave.

I am only on a journey. I am no where near the finish mark at this point in my life. I feel young in the Lord. I often feel very immature. I know that if I should live another 45 years then layers of who I am now will peel off and a purer identity in Christ shall be formed. This is the renewal of the mind and the healing of the inner man. The lies and the rags of the old man will fall away, and I shall become stronger and stronger in the Lord.

I am not there yet. I still get triggered many times. Conviction lies on my heart even now as I write this. I realise that I often wrestle with my flesh. I need the Lord to heal me. I want to be strong but truthfully I am weak but thank God for His grace because when I am weak He is still strong. He will strengthen me in my weakness and I will yet shine for Him.

I pray for you also. I pray that God helps you to become stronger. Don’t dare judge my journey. You have your own dragons that you need to slay. I pray that the power of the Holy Spirit will rise upon you and that you will become more than a conqueror rising to the place of being remembered with the King.