What Does it Mean to be Unoffendable

I remember hearing a well-known preacher  once say that since he became a Christian he had never been offended.  This seemed to be a spectacular thing to me, and I immediately felt very weak and immature because of his supernatural ability to not feel or react to offence or insults that came at Him.  The truth was I was offendable.  I had been hurt by many people and what they said to me was difficult to deal with.  I so wanted to not feel the pain and hurt.  I didn’t want the emotions that came with rejection and accusation.

Then, and even now, when people come against me with insults, degradation and hurt, it solicits an emotional response in my heart.  I feel pain.  I feel sad.  I feel injured by what was said.  Even this weekend I ministered at a church where one of the ministers in that church was warning people for a month that I was a false prophet that they needed to be concerned about.  Did this cause pain?  Absolutely.  This person didn’t even know me and had never spoken to me.  He didn’t even understand the gift of prophecy or really believe that it was for the church today.  I had to teach on that gift within that community sharing how prophetic people are not perfect and just because they get something wrong doesn’t make them a false prophet, but that is another topic for another writing.

I don’t believe we can overcome emotional responses but that doesn’t mean they have to dictate the way I behave.  A response is one thing.  I can feel the pain but choose a better reaction.  At one time I might have tried to defend myself from accusation.  I may have attacked the person in return.  Vengeance may have raised its ugly head within me, and I would have been determined to get even with the person that came against me.  I may have intentionally withheld love or spoke against them to others.  I would have chosen the way of anger and bitterness, which likely would have justified the person’s accusations against me.  This behavior is not of Christ.

I can feel the pain of offence but enter a mindset that allows me not to be affected by it.  I must practice what the bible says.  I will share several scriptures that have helped me through the years.

Matthew 18:21-22, “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, “’I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times.”  This scripture has helped me on my journey to overcome offence.  This is a command that the Lord gave to us.  As I deal with people who have hurt me, I will forgive them over and over in my heart.  As soon as I feel the pain again, I will forgive.  There are some that I have forgiven seven times seventy times.  It feels good to forgive and I will continue to live this way.

Forgiveness is key to peace of mind.  As I forgive those who have cursed me and despitefully used me it has many benefits.  There is emotional healing.  It improves relationships.  It reduces stress and anxiety.  It can give us to have empathy toward those that have done us wrong and there are physical benefits for the body.  It improves the blood pressure and helps the immune system.  Some even say that the spiritual root of cancer is bitterness and unforgiveness towards those who have hurt us.  Letting go of bitterness and anger was the best thing that I ever did.

Matthew 7:3 says, “And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?”  This scripture helped me more than any other.  It was an invitation to investigate the darkness of my own heart and to seek healing for the brokenness that was there.  This scripture does not say that there is no imperfection in the people around me.  Indeed, there is imperfection, and you can see it, but the imperfection in my own life should be more my concern.

I have tried to live my life this way.  Somebody once taught me that perhaps the darkness that I see in others is the darkness that I am wrestling with.  They said that perhaps the reason I see that imperfection so easily is because it is something I too deal with.  I was taught to investigate my own heart first to see what was there, and then in time, if God should allow it, I might be able to minister to the other person from a better attitude, and bring healing from a place of compassion, rather than from hostility or anger.  I believe we need to ask God for his heart for people before we are ever able to help them with anything.  If I don’t love them then how can I help them.

Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”  Jesus also told the parable about the man who owed much but was forgiven a great debt (Matthew 18:21-35).  This servant rejoiced when the king forgave him his great debt, but instead of showing the same compassion and mercy to the one who owed him a smaller debt, he was harsh and had him thrown into prison.  When the king found out about his servant’s harshness, he had him brought back before him and rebuked him and threw him into prison. 

This parable is an important lesson to us.  Jesus has forgiven us so much.  It is our duty and our sacrifice to forgive as Jesus forgave.  Remember Jesus even on the cross forgave those that crucified him.  He didn’t even take the offence of the cross to his heart but blessed those that did that to him.  I want to be like Jesus therefore I will practice forgiveness.

To be unoffendable does not mean you don’t feel pain.  Rather it means you have entered the disciplines of Christ and have learned to look past and forgive.  You have become more introspective about your own journey.  You are more worried about your own salvation.  What others do is their problem with God.  We pray for them and ask God to help them, but we have chosen not to react in kind.  We have learned to speak well of them even when they don’t speak well of us.  We may feel the pain, but with the Holy Spirits help and with spiritual discipline, we have learned to overcome the world.

I pray for you today.  I ask the lord to help you to forgive those who have offended you.  May you find it easy to let go of the pain and seek reconciliation in Jesus’ name.